Mindfulness is about being fully present and awake in this one moment.
There are three specific house skills you can use. They are called the HOW skills because they teach you how to practice mindfulness, how to observe, describe and participate.
The first HOW skill is non judgmentally. Non judgmentally means to accept the moment exactly as it is, without evaluating it as good or bad, right or wrong.
Instead, focus on just the facts without adding judgments on. This is extremely difficult to do. Most of us live within a very judgmental culture or subcultures. And all of us have judgments.
Sometimes, you might find that you frequently judge yourself or others, which can impact your mental and physical health.
Letting go of judgments can be a powerful way to improve your well being. Things to keep in mind about being non judgmental, is that it doesn't mean approving or agreeing with everything. It also doesn't mean you have to keep quiet about your preferences or desires. You can still have values and emotions, likes and dislikes without being judgmental.
For example, instead of saying so and so is an awful terrible person, they shouldn't be that way. You can non judgmentally say, I don't like this person's behaviors.
They bring up negative emotions for me, and I wish it was different. Or instead of saying spinach is disgusting, you can non judgmentally say, I don't like spinach, I prefer broccoli.
The second HOW skill is one mindfully. When practicing one mindful, we let go of thoughts about the past in the future, and we refocus our attention. We focus on what we are doing in this one moment with complete attention.
It's amazing how little we do one mindfully. So practicing the skill at first might be difficult. For example, you can one mindfully eat a snack or meal, only eating and noticing all the sensations that go with that. You can mindfully walk and only focus on walking and the experiences and sensations that go along with that.
When you are watching TV, only watch TV. When you are scrolling on your phone, only scroll on your phone when you are worrying. only worry.
The third HOW skills is Effectively. Effectively is the practice of doing what is needed in this moment to achieve our goals.
We have all been in situations when we have been focused on being right rather than effective. And this often leads to negative consequences and gets in the way of our goals. being effective is about doing what works not about what is fair or unfair or being right or wrong. To be effective in a situation you have to know what you want to get out of it. respond to the actual situation, not how you think it should be. Be open to trying different solutions, and learn from mistakes and play by the rules. Unlike the mindfulness what skills for which you can only practice one at a time, you can practice the mindfulness house skills all together.
For example, if you're in the middle of a disagreement with someone, you can practice being non judgmental with your thoughts and your statements. You can practice being one mindful by focusing on what the other person is saying instead of jumping in to express your point. And you can practice being effective by keeping your eye on your goal, like expressing your opinion about something without feeling out of control or submissive by letting go of judging reality by doing one thing at a time.
And by doing what works. You're several steps closer to increasing control of your mind and finding contentment in the present moment.
