Crisis Survival Skills are great and provide much needed help for how to get through difficult moments without doing anything that might make the situation worse in the short or long term.
But crisis survival skills are also limited. They're meant to provide help with an immediate distressing situation. They're not intended to be used every moment of every day. In fact, using crisis survival skills every moment of every day will likely lead to negative consequences, and may also reduce their effectiveness over time.
So that's where radical acceptance comes in. Radical acceptance, the skill for when your life where the world is not exactly how you want it to be. Which means that for most of us, this is a skill for always, radical acceptance means accepting this moment, or this situation exactly as it is in this moment. accepting that this moment couldn't be any other way.
Given the billions and billions of things that have happened that led up to it. Now, before we go any further, I just want to make something very clear.
Radical acceptance does not mean we have to approve or like our life, this moment, or the world exactly as it is.
Some of us are living in hell right now and want desperately with our whole being to be out.
Radical acceptance is not about getting rid of that wanting. Radical acceptance is about turning our minds from rejecting reality, which is telling ourselves how it shouldn't be this way, which usually only creates more suffering for us, and instead accepting reality, recognizing that everything is caused, whether we like the causes or not, and that changing reality requires accepting it first.
Practicing radical acceptance then requires first noticing that we are fighting reality. The word should is often a good indicator, or the words why me once we're aware that we're rejecting reality, we can take a step back and observe what's going on in our mind and in our body.
We can observe what rejecting reality feels like. Now make a choice to work on accepting reality. Turn your mind towards accepting reality.
Take a deep breath. Turn your palms up into a willing posture so that your hands are communicating to your brain that you're working on being willing. Remind yourself that everything has a cause, even situations that elicit great pain and suffering. Remind yourself that life can be worth living even with these painful moments.
Remind yourself that it's okay. Actually more than okay to have sadness about how things currently are for you, or for the world. It will take time maybe a long time to get to a place where practicing radical acceptance leads to greater peace and calm. Keep practicing.
Over time you will find that if you stop running away from reality, you will become more effective and therefore more likely to reach your goals. enact positive changes and make the next moments ones that are easier to accept
